Thursday, March 26, 2009

Friends

A few years back, I had a really good friend. We started working out together. Our children were friends,we BBQ together. But then there was some distance put between us...I am a loyal friend. I don't intentionally hurt someone. I usually try to think things through before I say something, but lean towards not saying anything, if it will hurt someone....Well, I asked this friend what was up. She said I am pouty, manipulative, and controlling.....WOW, that stung. It stung for quite sometime. I started questioning myself at every turn, everything I did, as a wife, mother, friend to someone else....It was a yucky time in my life. Of course she said she never meant to hurt me, but she never took back the words. I don't know what I was suppose to learn through this, after much searching, I have never received a clear answer....It is still uncomfortable when I see her. Thank goodness our children are friends again.

For a while, I thought, ok God you are not going to give me a close relationship with another woman. I became content with that. After a few struggles in parenting and marriage, Wayne and I became closer than we had ever been. Which was really good for us. I just gave up on finding a close relationship with another woman, who was on the same level with me...I still thought about it, but I was actively searching for it anymore....

I am happy to say, just being content....content in my role as a mother, as a wife, as a servant of God...So many prayers have been answered through contentment, being obedient to God...
I have two wonderful friends that I meet for coffee with once a week at a local coffee joint. They prayer with and for me...for others. One makes us all laugh constantly. One I text and talk with so many times during the day...for little snipets of time. Seems as if we will never run out of things to talk about. We encourage each other. These two women give me what I craved so much, but I am at a better place...God is good.

God has also answered questions as to what I should do with my life. By placing Hope Blooms in my life, I feel like this is the answer to questions that I have had for so long. It is stretching me mentally, but when I sit and dream of the lives that we will touch, I can hardly stand it! I am so excited to get this started. God is going to do amazing things. We even got our first enquiry from a search on our website. Unfortunatly we were unable to do anything about it, as we don't have the space yet. But my gut, from God, is telling me it will happen sooner than we think. I first thought maybe next fall, but God has put it on me to prepare for sooner...So I am plugging away with things that I feel I need to accopmplish. It is such an exciting time...I am so thankful to have God's purpose laid out for me with Hope Blooms. jsut ask me, I will tell you all about it! I love to talk about what God is doing for us right now. I am so thrilled to be His servant, completing this task that He set before me.

Please keep praying. I am trying to keep the prayers page updated a couple times a month, as there are new things to pray for. www.hopebloomsmn.org

Thanks for checking in!
Shan

No comments:

script language="JavaScript">

About Me

Minnesota, United States
I am a wife, mother to five children, 2 cats, 3 dogs. Hoping to be a mother to more children someday through adopting waiting children in Minnesota.
Loading...